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Title subject to change, rating PG13 to be on the safe side.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, I do own the plot of this story (for as far as there is one) and the extra characters I may or may not add.

Response to reviews at the bottom, be sure to read the A/N’s.

Chapter 03 – Stupidity:


The next few weeks were… strange to put it mildly. Instead of parading me around like some freak of nature who just happened to be teleported into her world, Tsunade went for discretion. Something for which I was eternally grateful.

I kept having bout of depressions, sure, who wouldn’t have? I mean, it was great and all, but I was so alone! The sheer weight of my current situation kept hanging over my head like a sharpened guillotine. Yet, for some reason, that extremely beautiful women comforted me every time I cried and tried to cheer me up.

By no means was it an idyllic situation. We didn’t always get along. Especially a couple days ago. I don’t really know what happened. Maybe I finally snapped, or maybe I just needed a scapegoat. But I took out all of my frustrations out on her that afternoon. Needless to say, I felt extremely bad.

I still remember the hurt look in her honey-brown eyes. I also remember the stinging pain of her palm hitting the side of my face with a sharp thwack before she stormed off. Damn, I’m really a fool, huh?

So here I was now. Sitting on that comfy hospital bed, my legs swinging idly as a nameless nurse I did not know removed the bandages from my body. When she was done, she nodded at me and said I should just wait for the chief-medic-nin. He wanted to talk to me. My heart sank when she obviously meant a male.

My eyes wandered across the room after she closed the door. I had come to know this room pretty well, and to put it rather crudely; I was bored shitless.

Being cooped up here for the time I had would have that effect on anyone.

Sighing, I hopped off the bed and walked to the large window. Maybe the view would take my mind off things for a while. Yeah, you can already guess that it didn’t, obviously. The hustle and bustle of Konohagakure didn’t mean anything to me. I really missed having her around.

Tsunade was just too damn fun to be around.

And no, I’m not so shallow that it was because of her dazzling beauty. I think it was… her laugh… It was nothing like any manga or anime could hope to mimic. Tsunade, the flesh and blood woman I had come to known, truly had an amazing laugh. And right now, I wanted to hear it more than anything else.

Then a hand on my shoulder made me nearly jump out of my skin.

“Erik-san!”

“Holy shit!” I shouted and clutched my chest with both hands.

Damn those Shinobi! Silent buggers!

I turned around and found myself face to face with a rather stern looking man who was currently shoving his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Narrowing my eyes, I poked him in the chest. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, scaring me like that?”

He pushed my hand away, and scowled. “I’ve been calling you for the past minute, Erik-san.”

I looked at him, surprised and then shook my head slowly. “Sorry, my mind was elsewhere.”

“I realized that.” He responded curtly and then scribbled something on the clipboard he was holding in his hands.

“So uh, what’s up? Can I finally get out of here?” I asked warily.

He nodded sagely. “As a matter of fact, yes you can.”

“Really?” Wow, I was sure surprised.

“Yes.”

By the looks of him, he was getting annoyed. Uptight bastard.

He finished scribbling whatever the hell he was scribbling in the first place and pointed over his shoulder. “Seeing your clothes were pretty much destroyed and rather unsanitary due to the vast amount of blood and dirt, we destroyed them and supplied you with another set.”

“Uh-huh…” I said dumbly before I put my signature on a dotted line at the bottom of the paper he held out to me after taking the pen he offered me.

“You are now officially discharged.” He told me and bowed. “The bill will be sent to your residence, good day.”

It wasn’t until I had pulled on the comfy black ensemble consisting of a v-necked t-shirt and sweater, baggy black pants and the Shinobi-standard sandals I knew from the manga, that I realized the importance of his words.

‘My… residence!’


I got some weird stares when I walked out of the hospital –those directional signs sure came in handy I can tell you that much. And the stares didn’t stop when I was walking down a rather busy streets either. When someone –a horse-toothed old crone- began pointing at me and then whispered to her similar old friend, I snapped.

Stalking towards her, I threw my arms in the air. “What! What is it about me that’s so damn interesting!”

She squeaked and ran. Well she hobbled, but for the sake of argument I’m going to say she ran. I grunted and resumed my walking, to where I still didn’t know, with a proverbial thundercloud brewing over my head when I noticed I received more stares after my outburst.

I walked for a couple more hours, and I was steadily growing more desperate. You’d think you’d know a village like Konoha after watching some episodes of the anime and reading all of the manga chapters so far. But boy, I can tell you, you’d be wrong.

I was totally and utterly lost. And to make matters worse, it was getting dark too. Cursing my luck, I considered my options. I could sleep here on the street. But really, there was only one thing for me to do. Yet there was also the possibility that I would be kicked out just as fast and would sleep on the streets anyway.

Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I went to look for someone whom to ask directions of.


Cold, hungry and severely miserable. That about summed me up right about now. But at last, I had arrived at my destination. I was standing in front of nothing else than the Hokage Tower. And shit, it was huge.

What I wouldn’t give to know how to do one of those weird-ass teleportation jutsu’s right about now.

I squashed down my apprehension with my mental boot heel and grasped one of the two large and heavy brass rungs that adorned the massive doors. Banging the door with it three times, I stepped back and began wiping the cold sweat on the front of my sweater.

Waiting nearly a minute, I was about to bang the door again in desperation, but as I made a move to, the door was slowly swung open, creaking as it went. And I found myself face to face with a familiar person.

She looked at me queerly. “Hello, can I help you?”

I guess I must’ve looked pretty stupid with my mouth hanging open, but I recovered quickly and I stuck my hand out in greeting. “Hi, you must be Shizune!”

She cocked an eyebrow and didn’t grasp my hand, instead flicking her eyes towards it once in puzzlement. “How do you know my name?”

I let my hand drop and tugged in my new sweater. This was going the wrong way, fast. “Look, I know this must seem a bit weird.” I started and looked at her pleadingly. “But can I please talk to Tsunade? Uh I mean, Hokage-sama?”

Now she was definitely looking at me like I was some kind of idiot. “I don’t think I can…”

“Please, I’m begging you. I really need to talk to her!” I half-shouted and managed some wonky sort of bow.

Maybe it had been my eyes, or the way my voice quavered, but after a lengthy pause –which made me sweat bullets, she stepped away from the door and motioned for me to come in.

And when I did, my jaw dropped again, making me look like some half-assed baboon. The place was huge from the outside, but it was massive on the inside. Because this was the first floor, I guess it kind of functioned like a waiting room. Lining the circular room were various sofa’s and benches, and the occasional chair around some round tables. Interspersed between them were open cabinets of all shapes and sizes, all containing what looked like scrolls and books.

‘Guess she likes making people wait.’ I mused with a grin.

The room was bland I thought. A mix of beige and lighter shades of brown. All of the rugs and wallpaper were in those colours. Only the sparse posters and wall scrolls added the necessary variety.

I felt a tug on my sleeve and turned to Shizune, who was already walking towards a staircase that swirled upwards.

‘Uh-oh…’

Fifteen minutes later, I was puffing and wheezing after what seemed the millionth staircase. I didn’t know if I could take any more of this…

“We’re here.” Shizune told me and moved to a closed door at the end of a hallway. “Please sit down here while I inform Hokage-sama of your presence.”

“Oh thank god!” I grunted and crashed on the wooden bench had directed me towards. It was extremely uncomfortable, but at the moment, if I could sit down and catch my breath, I wouldn’t dare complain.

I think I waited about thirty seconds before Shizune came back out, closing the door behind her as she shook her head, making her black hair shake back and forth with it. When she saw me, she gave me a smile. “Hokage-sama will see you now.”

“Thanks…” I said and gave her a nod as she moved away, down those innumerable steps. I truly pitied her for I hoped I would never have to do it again.

Gulping down another of those annoying big lumps that seemed to be lodged in my throat, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

There was a slight pause before I got a response. “Come in.” A muted voice sounded.

With shaking hands, I grasped the knob, turned it and stepped inside the room.

“Hello, Tsunade.”


A/N: Well, that’s the last of it folks! I didn’t write any more. I might do so in the future, but I’m not really sure. In any case, for now, you can take this as an open ending… A really big open ending.

I might write more if there’s enough requests for it, but we’ll see. I hope you enjoyed this so far. Don’t worry about my other fics, I’m still working on them. If only chapter four of AD could get beta-ed, I’d be able to release it!

Ah well…

FenrisLupus: Being a wuss has its bonuses though, as you could see. :P

Hiiro and Angelica: Yes, I know, I took myself by surprise as well. ;)

Stonebridge: Thanks!