Neon Genesis Evangelion
Disclaimer:
NGE owns me.. but I don’t own
the show…
A/N: Sorry
if it took so long, for those that have been waiting, if any… but, I must say,
Writer’s Block sucks. I’m sorry, I’ll try to make this
one good…
Like
breath. It actually felt as if someone was breathing very loud but at the same
time very silent. The wind outside was howling, similar to a boy who was crying
inwardly. Or, to put it in other words, Asuka couldn’t get to sleep. Hikari was
sleeping breathlessly beside her on the ground. When Asuka had just arrived in
Ever since Shinji got stuck in Evangelion Unit-01…
Asuka rose
from her bed and rubbed her eyes. She cast one look at the sleeping form of her
girlfriend before walking towards the bathroom. Once there, she watched her own
reflection in the mirror and shook her head.
‘God, I
look terrible…’
The bags
that were only forming under her eyes were an indication that tomorrow would be
an even more terrible day for her. She ruffed her own hair up a bit and
splashed some cold water in her face. She watched herself again in the mirror
and saw the look in her own eyes.
‘Damn… I
actually look… sad..’
Payback Time
Chapter 6
Misato
grabbed four beers, two in each hand and put them on the table. Hikari looked
quite wide-eyed at the beers while Asuka just ate her breakfast. Hikari
swallowed and looked at Asuka calmly eat her breakfast and then took a few
bites herself. The atmosphere in the room was very breathtaking. Her eyes were
still widened at the awkward breakfast situation.
‘This is
just too… farfetched.. Something terrible has
definitely happened…’
Hikari took
a bite from her bread, swallowed and decided she had to ask questions now… She
nervously glanced from Asuka to Misato as she prepared the question..
“Uhmm.. Misato?” Hikari glanced over at her, noticing that Misato
put up a hand which motioned toward her she still had to finish another can of
beer. “Asuka?” She gazed at Asuka, who was stuffing
piece after piece in her mouth, though at a slow pace.
“Did
someone die?”
Both Misato
and Asuka stopped at what they were doing as they stared from the corner of
their eyes, straight at Hikari. Hikari felt like a deer caught in a car light
with no escape, it felt like they were penetrating her with just their eyes.
‘Well….
Judging from their..’ She gulped inwards. ‘looks… someone did die…’
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“So, you’re
the new Commander, then?”
The man
before her nodded as he walked past her. “I think I know of a possible solution
for Shinji…”
Ritsuko
looked puzzled as he stared at Fuyutsuki. “What… what do you suggest?”
Fuyutsuki
turned around and gave her a genuine smile. “I believe love will light up the
darkness…. In the Entry Plug… and in Shinji’s head, of
course.”
Ritsuko
looked sadly at the statement. “Heh…. You forget… there hasn’t been a person
who Shinji knows who can give him that. The boy has been alone for so long,
what you suggest seems like such an impossible task.”
Fuyutsuki
chuckled shortly. “Yes. But you forget.. that his mother has returned…”
Ritsuko
narrowed her eyes. She hesitated before speaking again. “… I have my doubts.
Shinji-kun has never seen his own mother. In a wild frenzy, he might just kill
her in there. If that would be the case, you’d have sacrificed an innocent
life.” Ritsuko commented. ‘Although I don’t want to call Yui innocent… She is..’
Fuyutsuki
grimaced. “Perhaps… But I believe Shinji remembers something before he reached
age five. All that he could remember from then, would of course be his mother.
Don’t you agree?”
Ritsuko
chose to be silent and therefore, agree with him.
Fuyutsuki
walked away, but not before saying another thing. “Yui will be able to walk
again soon. We will ask her to cooperate when she has recovered. Another thing,
Ritsuko, I want you to destroy the Dummy Plug…”
Ritsuko’s
eyes widened. “But… the Commander..”
Fuyutsuki,
who was already walking away, immediately turned around. “Rokubungi has nothing
to say anymore! Besides, the Dummy Plug is useless now! There is no way it can
control Unit-01… And.. I think there should be only
one..”
Ritsuko
nervously swallowed. She was quite happy she could destroy the Dummy Plug… but,
if Gendo were to wake up soon… he would be quite pissed…
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“Alright…
You deserve an explanation for our… strange behaviour, I guess…” Misato began,
receiving a questioning glare from Asuka’s side. She ignored it and continued.
“Yes,
someone did die…. That much we can assume now… we have tried several times to
retrieve him…”
Hikari’s
eyes widened. ‘Him? Oh my god… I hope it isn’t.. I hope it isn’t..’ Hikari began
chanting inside of her that what she had assumed earlier would be wrong…
Misato
continued. “But recently, we really tried everything and we still failed
miserably.. He isn’t coming back…”
Hikari was
afraid to ask, but the look in her eyes told Misato the question.
Misato
smiled sadly as she stared off in space. Hikari gasped at the sad look in
Misato’s eyes and Asuka, whose face was down. “Ikari Shinji… has died..”
Hikari
tried so hard not to breakdown and was having trouble just breathing, her eyes,
so widened, were beginning to water. The teeth in her mouth were shaking
uncontrollably. Misato broke the silence by breaking down right in front of
her. Hikari was to follow very shortly after. And even Asuka… wept..
Even
Pen-Pen stayed in his home, although he hasn’t left his fridge for a few days
now…
The three
embraced each other for a very long time, no one knew how long.. Until Hikari suddenly spoke up.
“I…. I am
going home, now….”
With a last
hug, she left, her face still wet from the tears..
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“Toji. Get.
Up. Now.”
Toji
murmuring and rolling over on his other side, ignored
his friend’s pleas.
“Jeez,
you’re such a lazy bastard, you know that?” Kensuke stated. “You know what? I’m
going alone, I don’t need you to go to the mall…. I
can drool over the hot girl all by myself, thank you very much.”
Kensuke
angrily walked out of the room. ‘My GOD!! Oh well,
more girls for me, and I don’t want to be pushing his wheel chair today,
anyway.’
Toji’s eyes
suddenly popped open. “Hot girls?”
But Kensuke
had already left..
“Where the
hell am I?” A confused Toji asked as he stared around in the room.
Outside,
Kensuke walked lazily. ‘Jeez.. It’s been so long since
I’ve seen you, Shinji. When are you coming back?’
Kensuke
frowned as he someone walk his way and he adjusted his
glasses. ‘Hikari?’
Kensuke’s
eyes widened even more and he had to adjust his glasses again. ‘She’s… she’s
crying?!’
In a
situation such as this, Kensuke was totally helpless. After all, he had never
comforted a girl before. Hikari was approaching him fast and was still crying a
bit. Kensuke grew nervous and Hikari was almost passing him, without even so
much as a greeting. “Wa-Wait!! Class Rep!! No!! Hikari-san!!
Aah… Hikari-chan!! Oh my GOD! What am I doing? Please
wait!!”
Hikari
turned around to face Kensuke. “What do you want, Aida?”
Kensuke
paused and swallowed nervously. “Well… I’m sorry… I don’t have much experience
with this… but.. I can tell something is wrong.. What.. what’s
wrong?”
Hikari
gazed sadly, but still hard through Kensuke’s eyes. ‘Toji… wasn’t he sleeping
over at his place? They… they deserve to know as well…’
Kensuke
sighed, assuming he wouldn’t get an answer. “I.. I’m
sorry.. I.”
He was cut
off as Hikari asked him a question and sniffed afterwards. “Where’s Toji?”
Kensuke
frowned and looked confused as he answered her question. “He’s still asleep
back at my place.. Why?”
Hikari
turned around and started walking again, at which Kensuke looked even more
puzzled than before. “Kensuke, follow me and I’ll tell you something…”
Kensuke
followed her, still very confused. ‘This is just… too weird..’
Once Hikari
arrived at Kensuke’s place, she ordered him to open the door. Kensuke complied
and led her to Toji. Toji was awake when they arrived in Kensuke’s room and was
surprised to see Hikari with Kensuke. He was still rather naked under his
sheets and quickly covered himself up. Toji was about to yell a bit until he
looked a bit closer at Hikari. Toji’s eyes softened a great deal as he noticed
she had been crying.
“Ok, you
two need to listen… you need to know this…” Hikari began, whispering.
Toji and
Kensuke remained silent as the sadness that was stuck on her voice.
“You two.. also noticed Misato’s and Asuka’s…. behaviour, right?”
Kensuke and
Toji both nodded nervously, not knowing what this was all about.
“Someone….
Died… someone..” Hikari paused. “Someone pretty close
to you two.. ”
Kensuke’s
eyes widened as he came to a conclusion.. “Nuh-No! You can’t be… You’re not saying!!”
Toji looked
a bit puzzled at first at Kensuke, but was also thinking. And from observing
Kensuke’s reaction, there wasn’t much to think about..
His eyes widened as well. “You can’t be meaning..!!”
He swallowed ever so nervously as his fists were shaking. “No… he can’t… he
can’t be gone..” He ended with a whisper as tears fell
from his eyes.
Hikari
couldn’t stop her own tears as she nodded and began to sob again.
“It can’t
be…. not him…”
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“So.. you hurt too, huh?”
Asuka
nodded ever so slowly at the purple-haired woman. “Of course I do!!” Asuka yelled.
‘But.. to think I would cry
for him…. And I promised myself never to cry… Damn you, Shinji…’
“Well… At
least there will be no more angel attacks.” Misato stated after wiping away a
few tears. She was about to continue just when the phone began to ring.
They both
stared at the damn thing, before Misato picked it up.
Asuka zoned
out when Misato began to speak through the phone. ‘Shinji… though you’re still
alive.. you will never come
out, will you? And you will never be you again, right? I can’t believe that you
are the first Pilot to fall… There must be a way..’
“Asuka. It
seems they’re going to try something else.. to retrieve Shinji… and you and Rei have to be there as
well. Let’s get going.”
Asuka
nodded. ‘Another way to get Shinji back? Just another
false hope… he won’t come back to m… to us..’
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“No, we
won’t be doing it today. But you are here for a Synchronization Test. Today we
will be telling you what we’re going to do, what we have planned to get Shinji
back.” Ritsuko explained to Rei, Asuka and Misato. “It all depends on how fast
Yui will recover.”
Misato and
Asuka frowned, but it didn’t take a genius to find out what the plans were.
Well, not long… for Rei.
“Ikari Yui
will be piloting Evangelion Unit-01?” Rei questioned.
Ritsuko
nodded with an expressionless face, where Asuka and Misato were still frowning.
“Yes.”
Asuka
stared straight at Ritsuko before asking her something. “You have to be 14 to
pilot it, right?”
Ritsuko
stared back and shook her head. “No, that’s not true. Let’s just say 14-year
olds are easier to manipulate, or to control as one might put it.” She said as
she gazed at Misato. “Anyone can enter an Evangelion, but not everyone can
pilot it, 14-year olds are just the best. In Yui’s case, though she’s already
older, she is the proof that an Evangelion can be piloted by an older person.
We’re going to try that again, if all things go as planned, she’ll be perfectly
recovered in five days, today she could already walk.” She said, mocking
happiness. “Well, it’s time. Please, enter your respective Evangelions.”
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Somewhere
else, the atmosphere was a whole lot different. The surroundings would indicate
it was very cold, but in truth, it was quite hot. An occasional whisper
interrupted the silence, which created a very disturbing picture. In here,
there could be only one. Which means there can’t be any
talking, or whispering. And yet, there is was again, another whisper. A hollow and sneaky whisper, ready to form into a thundering roar.
Although a closer observation would tell otherwise. A change had occurred to
the certain individual who was trapped inside the entry plug.
Ikari
Shinji was alive, though now with two more inside of him, inside of his soul
and mind, actually. Shinji had been divided in three parts now. Mind, Body and Soul. Though they were still one and Shinji
was the main source of his own existence. Tabris or Kaoru Nagisa,
was now in his Soul, though very strange, Shinji could easily get rid of him
and gain full possession of his own soul. The same could be said about of Adam,
who was now present in Shinji’s Mind. Shinji figured he could function as a
guide, a conscience.
So, right
now, he was having a discussion with his two new friends. Adam had been the one
who told him where the scars on his face were for. And Kaoru was the one that
knew what SEELE was about to do soon. But none of them told what was going on
outside, what NERV”S plans were. He had self-control thanks to the seals on his
body that he gained because of Adam, and he was now more calm than before,
thanks to Kaoru’s nature, which he had absorbed.. at
least, that was as much as he figured since he wasn’t about to lose control any
time soon. But he remembered what he had done before.
No hard
feelings, that was what both had said to him. It wasn’t his fault, they said.
Still, Shinji felt guilt at what he had done to them, or to Asuka, Rei and
even… father. He shook his head at himself as he was disappointed at himself
again.
‘Shinji-kun. How many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn’t be like this.’
“I know
Kaoru.. But it’s true.. I’ve
done nothing but disappoint others and ultimately myself… You can’t say
otherwise.”
‘Through
certain periods of a lifespan, one has to doubt oneself… although you have done
nothing but…’
Shinji
sighed. “Maybe… But I can do nothing else but blame myself..
since I’ve done everything I could’ve done so far, so very wrong..”
‘Not quite.. you’ve actually done great.
Considering your own abilities in doing what you can, you’ve outperformed
yourself because the situation forced you to. But the situation was just
helpless and there was no other outcome.’
Shinji
chuckled sadly, indicating that he wasn’t believing what he was hearing. “You
say that now, but you haven’t seen it all.. You’re just trying to console me.. I don’t know why you’re bothering… You’re the one who
says it doesn’t matter after SEELE’s attack anyway… Since everything will
change after that… Third Impact as you so called it..”
‘Yes, you
are right. But, you and many others will be alive afterwards. And it would be
best if you’re not in the state you are in now when that time comes.’
Shinji
sighed again. “So.. it is inevitable… I don’t think
it’ll matter that much… you’ve explained what will happen… everyone will be
different, yet we will all still know each other… I guess I’ll just hide from
the world then, otherwise they would kill me… considering all the bad things
I’ve done.”
Both Kaoru
and Adam sighed, obviously inwards. ‘Ikari Shinji, saviour of Humanity, hiding
for Humanity…’
Shinji
chuckled sadly. “You make it sound as if it’s wrong, Adam…”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Five days
have passes, and it all went as Ritsuko has expected. Actually, Yui had
recovered fully already on the fourth day. But Fuyutsuki decided to do
everything on the fifth day, after all. Everyone was present.
“Just to
make sure you know this… But I think that this is the best idea a Commander of
NERV ever had.” Yui winked toward Fuyutsuki. His reaction was a small cough.
Yui turned serious as she turned to walk towards Evangelion Unit-01’s Entry
Plug.
The
situation was very tense. Inside the people’s minds, prayers were heard. All
were hoping that Shinji would be saved. But everyone wished there wouldn’t be a
repeat of what happened before; that Yui would be absorbed and Shinji would
come out.
But, as Yui
was taking her steps, the ground beneath them shook uncontrollable, on some
parts it even crumbled. Shigeru fell, and Maya helped him up. Shigeru scratched
his head in embarrassment but didn’t have time to sulk as the ground shook
again.
Fuyutsuki
immediately activated the gigantic screen that he had let repair, but not
before saying something. “Yui, it’s alright, enter Unit-01!!”
“Uh, what’s
going on?!” Asuka yelled as she observed all the cracks in the walls and the
crumbling floor.
“Asuka,
Rei… run as fast as you can towards your Evangelions!! It seems NERV is under
attack!!” Misato yelled as she herself also ran to stand before the screen.
‘What is Fuyutsuki thinking? Is he releasing Unit-01?’
Ritsuko
calmly walked the same way all the techs were running. ‘So, Today NERV will
fall…. But even SEELE will have trouble with Shinji-kun… Let’s see what Yui can
do… Three of our Evangelions up against SEELE…. It seems fair enough.’
“Evangelions…
Launch!!”
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‘This is
not like how I remember it… something is off… very off….’
Dead
silence filled the entry plug… Yui watched as the other Evangelions had already
had already taken their first steps. But Yui knew what could happen when she
would move just an inch. This Evangelion might go berserk and a lot of
innocents will lose their lives. Even if they just served
SEELE. Yui watched as dozens and dozens of black-clothed people entered
the NERV facility, ready to kill all in their way. Yui gritted her teeth and
ordered Unit-01 to move.
And just
then, as she expected.. Everything froze.
“He told
me…. you are my mother…”
Yui froze
as she faced a person who was floating in front of her. Yui didn’t know what to
say as she saw a figure clothed in black/greyish clothes, his left eye
completely bandaged with the same colour and a black headband covering his
entire forehead. His entire body was covered, nothing but his right eye and his
dark brown hair was revealed. Yui was still too shocked to be able speak as she
saw the look in Shinji’s eyes.
“Adam’s
telling me…. you could have prevented this from happening…. That you were the
one that had started it all…”
Yui trembled
as a tear left her left eye. She put her right hand in front of her mouth. She
stood face to face with her son, and she was too afraid to even speak.
“Mother….
Why did you leave me? Why did you abandon me?”
Yui
couldn’t answer; she was totally frozen in place. She couldn’t even think as
she stared straight into Shinji’s eye.
“So….. now you won’t even talk to me… Am I that much of a
disappointment to you? Don’t think I have forgiven you, mother.. I thought you were the only one who loved me, yet, what I
believed was a lie, wasn’t it?”
A slight
pause, as Shinji continued.
“It seems
we don’t even have time to talk… I thank you so much for participating in this
conversation, mother.”
And then
Shinji vanished, giving his mother the view she had before, back. The view
where there was total chaos everywhere. The two Evangelions were already
fighting the White 05-13 SERIES of SEELE. Yui’s eyes widened at the dead bodies
on the ground, the bloodied pavements. A voice suddenly rang all toughout the Entry-Plug
“Mother….
Right now… you can only watch… I will handle SEELE. I will kill, unfortunately.
But truly, it is an eye for an eye. Once the Ceremony of the Third Impact
begins, you’ll have to die as well…. The choice is mine to make… Perhaps
everyone will be brought back to life… and.. perhaps not.” Shinji stated coldly. “I am terribly sorry,
mother. But I have brought myself so far down, it’s
best if I do the worst thing I can possibly do now… It’s ok if you hate me, in fact, you already did, didn’t you? And then again,
everyone did..” Shinji began to rant but suddenly was
stopped as Yui screamed.
“NOOOOOOO!!!!”
Shinji
appeared in a split second in front of his mother. “… What is it? What’s
wrong?”
“I…. I love
you, Shinji… I’ve always loved you, Shin…Shin-chan..”
Shinji
seemed to snarl, though it wasn’t visible since his entire face was covered. “A
last attempt to save your own kind? I already know I’ve done so much wrong, I
know the people hate me… why rub in lies
I’ve heard before?” Shinji’s voice began to darken.
‘Shinji-kun,
you’re losing control.’ Kaoru said inside Shinji’s head, sensing the darkness
rise.
“SHUT UP!!” Shinji yelled at Kaoru, it
was clear he was a little mad.
Yui looked
straight at the enraged Shinji, no longer afraid.
“How dare you speak of love to me? I was the
one that had been discarded, ignored and even beaten up several times, all in
the name of.. LOVE.. Love for
Humanity, huh? I don’t even know what love is. Don’t you dare repeat your
lies!! I’m sick of it!! It is the reason I am like me right now!! Just shut the
hell up and watch your son destroy humanity!!”
‘What… I
thought you were going to save Humanity?’
Shinji
calmed down quite a bit as he answered Adam’s question. “I..
I know, Adam… I am so sorry.. but
I just can’t forgive them for what they all have done to me… I just can’t… ”
Shinji
suddenly showed his mother what had happened throughout his life as he made
images appear throughout the Entry plug.
First…
there was Yui’s absorption.. Father’s back.. No one that cared for Shinji after wards, until age 14 he
was completely alone.. arrival
Tokyo-III.. Confrontation with Gendo..
Yui could
barely hold back her tears as she saw all of it once. She stammered on her feet
and coughed, making clear to Shinji she was on the brink of tears.
“Mother… it
has come to this…. I guess all I can say is… it’s Payback Time..”
“Wait,
Shinji-kun…”
“Don’t even try to speak in such a caring
way!! The lies are dripping off of your words!!”
Yui
continued, unwavering. “No.. I’m not lying, Shinji..
Yes, you probably had the roughest life of everyone here… and yes, you were
treated so badly.. I apologize with all my heart.. I apologize for Gendo.. I..” Yui dropped a few tears and approached Shinji, who
backed away from her. “But I’m so sorry!! I’m so sorry, Shinji-kun!!” Yui
jumped toward Shinji to hug him.
But Shinji
stepped sideways to avoid his weeping mother. But he didn’t say anything as he
watched her cry.
‘Shinji-kun…
Can’t you sense it? The sincerity is radiating from the soul of her very presence.
She isn’t lying, Shinji-kun.’
‘Yes.
Tabris is quite right. It is not too late to have another choice, Shinji.
Forgive them.. Forgive Humanity for what it has done
to you..’
‘Yes,
Shinji-kun… Be the bigger man, and show that Humanity still has faith left in
itself. Act as Mankind’s representative. I know it’s hard to forgive them, but
you can…’
“Kaoru-kun…
Adam…”
Yui was a
sobbing mess in the corner of the entry plug , until a
hand reached her shoulder. Shinji embraced his mother, like a mother would do
to her son. Yui hugged him back as hard as she could.
‘So, your
choice has been made, then, Shinji-kun?’
“Adam..
Kaoru-kun.. prepare yourself
for an entertaining battle, we don’t have much time left..”
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A/N: So
what did you think of the story? Payback Time is finished, but actually, I
already released the sequel.. It’s called Dark Happiness,
you will find out what happened and what didn’t happen if you read it. Well,
I’m signing off, God, I’m so tired, I typed this in one go… Oh well…. I hope
you enjoyed the story. I know, I know, it’s a weird ending, huh? But hey, I
like open endings. Oh, and if you think there wasn’t much of Asuka, Misato or
Rei in here, don’t worry, there’ll be some romance in the sequel… but in an
angst/dark fic… there just is no space for romance… well, sometimes… but not
much..
Fare thee
well,
TokehGecko