Lost Behind the Mask
Lost Behind the Mask
He’d been hiding behind it
so long that he couldn’t find his way out. How she had seen past the mask was
beyond him, but he was grateful that she had. Almost as grateful as she was.
Naruto/Ino NaruIno One-shot.
Naruto laughed out loud,
his lips stretching wide across his face in his characteristic grin, and his
eyes squinting shut.
Sakura rolled her eyes. No
matter what she ever said, no matter how harsh her rejections were, Naruto
never seemed to be affected by it. Everywhere he went, he was smiling and
laughing. The most cheerful shinobi in all of Konoha.
So cheerful it was
annoying. Sakura repressed an urge to yell at the stupid blonde, knowing that
Naruto would merely laugh louder at her anger, and, still chuckling, avoid any
violence she might attempt on him for his disrespect.
Despite his constantly
jovial nature, Naruto had become a great shinobi. Somehow. Sakura didn’t really
know what Naruto had done to become so well known in Konoha, since she was
never on his teams anymore. She worked at the hospital, and Naruto worked in ANBU.
Occasionally, she heard rumors about his exploits, but she would bet good money
that they were all exaggerated. No way could Naruto, that silly, laughing
blonde who always wore the most garishly colored clothing of any ninja she had
ever seen, could possibly be the almost-legendary Nobody.
If it was him, Sakura knew
that every single person in every single country would know it. Naruto couldn’t
keep his mouth shut if he depended on it. So there was someone else in ANBU who
always announced his intentions before any attack, and always left one
survivor, usually crippled, to report to the enemy that he had struck. And
invariably, this ANBU, when asked for his name, would reply:
“I’m nobody.”
Sakura rolled her eyes at
the confusion this had caused in other countries, when the lone survivor would
stumble back and report that his team had been killed by nobody.
Sakura wished she knew who
this nameless wonder could be. He was supposed to have a deep, growling voice,
but she didn’t know anyone like that. But sounds could be faked, and the senses
fooled, so Sakura supposed that it really could be anybody.
Maybe Kakashi, who had
rejoined ANBU shortly after helping Naruto find and kill Sasuke? Kakashi seemed
that type that might do something like that.
Sakura couldn’t think of
any other person she knew in ANBU who might do that. Many times she had asked
Ino, the only girl her age in ANBU, about this mysterious Nobody. But Ino, in a
short, clipped voice, had told her that it was none of her business.
Sakura didn’t ask anymore,
since it always seemed to put Ino in a bad mood, especially with Sakura. To be
sure, she and Ino weren’t great friends anymore. Ino had sort of drifted away
after joining ANBU. But bringing up the subject turned Ino almost hostile, and
all that Sakura had ever gotten out of her about Nobody was that it wasn’t Ino.
A fat lot of help that was.
Sakura had figured that from the start. But still, she was curious. She wished
that Naruto would tell her, but every time she asked, he just laughed out loud,
like it was the funniest question he had ever heard. When she pestered him for
details, he would just laugh harder, occasionally throwing out cryptic comments
disguised as jokes.
But even Naruto’s momentary
slips weren’t enough to help her any. Maybe it was so secret that even the
loud-mouthed Naruto had to keep it secret. All she had gathered from him was
that this person was a person with ‘a heart as cold as death,’ who ‘acts like
an animal’ was a total jerk to be around on the job. Naruto never said what the
mysterious ANBU was like off the job, and any questions about it made him roll
on the floor laughing.
Sakura wished she knew
more, and wished that she could be sure of what little Naruto had let slip. But
it was entirely possible that the idiot blonde had been joking, and that she
really knew nothing at all.
Sakura sighed, and watched
Naruto slowly calm his laughing. It was a mistake to take him out for ramen,
even if there was a slight possibility of finding out more about this enigmatic
Nobody. He just annoyed her to death.
Sakura slowly walked out of
Ichiraku’s, grateful that Naruto had long ago given up on dating her. Or this
would have been a lot more embarrassing and annoying to have done.
The blonde’s raucious
laughter followed her home.
Naruto was pissed.
What sort of jerk was Sakura, pretending to take him out for lunch as a friend
when all she really wanted to do was interrogate him about Nobody? She treated
him like some sort of tool, to be used and tossed aside. To find out about
genin, she looked in a file. To find out about jounin, she looked in a
different file.
Naruto was just her ANBU
file, less conveniently located. So when they had arrived at Ichiraku’s for
lunch, Naruto was incredibly angry. He had, therefore, expressed it in the way
that he had for years.
He smiled. He stretched his
mouth to the sides of his face in a toothy grin, and squinting his eyes shut. He
had figured it out long ago. Smile wide, stretching his feral grimace into a
more friendly looking smile. And squint, to hide his accusing glares and
flickers to the red eyes that emerged with his anger.
And when Sakura had begun
the questioning again, Naruto expressed his terrible wrath in the same way he
had practiced for as long as he could remember.
He laughed. A loud, barking
laugh that prevented him from letting out any other sound, such as the low,
rumbling growl that he sometimes gave off even in his sleep.
Once the stupid pink-haired
medic had left him alone, Naruto retreated to his sanctuary, at the top of the
Hokage Monument.
She was waiting for him.
Ino had seen Sakura and
Naruto walking into Ichiraku’s, and her stomach had instantly clenched in a
paroxysm of jealousy and hatred. But she had controlled herself, knowing that
Naruto only did this out of a feeling of necessity, and because every time, as
he had once told her, he secretly hoped that Sakura would come around.
Knowing better than that,
Ino had climbed up to Naruto’s favorite spot on top of the Yondaime’s carved
head, and waited for him.
She stared off into the
sky, feeling the breeze toss her ponytail around behind her. She had grown it
out again, like she had worn it back in her early genin days. Partly because
she just never got around to cutting it. But mostly because she had found out,
one day, that Naruto liked it that way.
She hadn’t cut her hair
since. Now stretching down almost to her waist, her pale blonde ponytail
fluttered and swung in the wind.
The sound of feet scuffing
up the path brought her out of her reverie. She knew who it was, but she asked,
like she did every time.
“Who’s there?”
“Nobody.”
Naruto sat down next to
her, and reached with one hand to play with her hair. Ino closed her eyes and
sighed as she enjoyed Naruto’s attention, however slight. She could never get
him to do much, emotionally or physically, so she always made sure that he knew
she appreciated it whenever he actually initiated an action on his own.
Still twirling her blonde
strands around his hand, and running his fingers through it, Naruto spoke
quietly.
“I’m tired, Ino.” There was
a long pause, but Ino was used to it by now. She knew that he had more to say,
and so she waited. “So tired of pretending. Pretending that I’m happy.
Pretending that I care. Pretending that I matter to anyone.”
Ino leaned her head on his
shoulder, slowly, so that she wouldn’t disturb his continued attentions to her
hair, and wrapped her arms around him in a gentle, sideways hug. Sensing that
he was done talking for a moment, she whispered, “Even if no one else cares,
Naruto, I do. And aren’t you even a little happy, when you’re here with
me?”
She tried to sound more
confident that she felt. Naruto was so hard to read. It was only thanks to her
vague sixth sense, a feeling that came with the long use of Yamanaka mind
techniques, that she had ever noticed Naruto’s façade at all. She knew that he
didn’t hate her, but Naruto had never even once spoken of how he felt about
her. So many times over the past two years, after Ino had first gotten to know
him, she had tried to get him to tell her exactly how he felt.
But as time went on, she
realized that he probably didn’t even know himself, how he felt. Naruto was so
used to hiding his emotions that he could no longer sense anything except the
constant anger and frustration, strong feelings that blocked him from sensing
anything other emotion that might have grown within him over the years.
But for Ino, it was enough
that he accepted her. No one else was allowed to touch him this way, when
Naruto wasn’t pretending to be something else. No one else was even allowed to
approach him this way, when he revealed his soft and vulnerable side. Only Ino
was allowed to see his true self. And only Ino was privileged enough to hear
his complaints about the way he was treated, the people who slighted him, and
the so-called friends who only stayed around him for reasons other than his
company.
So Ino drew in a quick
breath when Naruto embraced her back, putting his arms around her shoulders and
pulling her to sit sideways on his lap. He had never been so affectionate. Ino
leaned onto his chest, moving and breathing carefully and slowly, afraid that
any sudden movement might startle him and put more distance between them.
Naruto held her head
against his chest with a single hand, and traced lazy circles on her back with
the other. Slowly, Ino relaxed into him, as she stopped worrying about scaring
him off. She nuzzled her cheek against his chest, and smiled when she felt a
gentle rumble emanating from within.
Even if others could
possibly guess about Naruto’s façade, she knew for a fact that she was
the only one who was aware that Naruto purred when he was pleased. Which,
Ino thought bitterly, was far too infrequently. She could only remember two
other times when Naruto had purred for her.
The first was when she had
told him that she knew about how he pretended for others, and told him that she
accepted him anyway, while hugging him tightly.
Although Naruto had not
responded in any outward sign, she had felt the low vibration from his chest,
and, after a long, questioning stare, Naruto had told her that he was slightly
more foxlike than most people knew. His teeth and whiskers were obvious, but
there were other things. Like his purring, which he had briefly explained to
her.
Ino also remembered Naruto
purring the first time she had comforted him after one of Sakura’s
interrogations. Naruto had been more outwardly pleased this time, the first day
he had played with her hair, and he had purred gently as she rubbed his back
and spoke quiet, soothing words, telling him to never mind all those others who
ignored his many good qualities.
And, of course, now. Ino
closed her eyes and just enjoyed Naruto’s pleasant warmth, another byproduct of
the fox that only Ino knew about. They sat there in silence for several hours,
while Naruto watched the sun go down, and Ino drowsed and all but fell asleep.
As it began to darken into
night, Naruto rubbed Ino’s bare arms to keep her warm, causing the young blonde
woman to take a deep breath and return to full wakefulness.
She opened her eyes and
looked up into Naruto’s face, still gazing in the direction of the sunset with
a faraway look in his eyes.
She felt his chest expand,
and Naruto spoke in soft voice, the voice that only she ever heard.
“Yes, Ino. I am
happy when I’m here with you.” Ino sat in quiet stillness, and hugged his chest
more tightly. Although the words themselves were nothing, coming from Naruto,
they were a huge admission. Any other boy would have had to bring flowers and
diamonds for any words to mean as much to another girl, as those words did to
Ino.
He continued. “I joined
ANBU years ago, because I was lost behind that mask I had created, the mask of
false happiness and enthusiasm.” Ino felt him gather the strength to continue
with this painful revelation. She knew how much it hurt for him to speak about
anything like this, and so she waited in respectful silence while he regathered
his courage.
“Soon, I was also lost
behind the mask of the ANBU. I could only act like myself when I appeared as
someone else, and could only look myself when I acted like someone else.”
Ino rubbed his back gently,
silently willing him to continue.
“One time, when I was told
to leave a survivor, as a warning, he asked me who I was. I opened my mouth to
reply, and realized that I wasn’t really anybody. I was never truly myself, and
I was never truly someone else. I was nobody. And so I told him so.”
Ino didn’t react to this
revelation, still rubbing slow circles on his back, comforting him, giving him
strength. She had known that he was called Nobody, but finding out why only
made her more sorry for him. Tears formed in her eyes, and she blinked them
away, the better to watch his face as he pushed on.
“And I stayed Nobody for so
long, lost behind my masks, I didn’t realize when I became somebody again. Two
years ago, Ino. Though I didn’t realize it until today.”
Ino could stop the tears
that ran from her eyes. She meant so much to him? She knew what he meant by two
years ago. When she had first found him hiding from the world behind false
pretenses.
Naruto tilted his head down
and looked her in the eyes, wordlessly thanking her for her patience, her
understanding, and her unconditional love.
“Stay with me, Ino.”
Ino smiled through her
tears of joy. “Always,” she said, and kissed his cheek
I think it turned out
alright. The ending was inspired by a scene from Frank Herbert’s Dune.
As always, reviews are
appreciated. Constructive criticism is welcome, especially, so that I
can improve as I continue. Please be sure, if you tell me something was bad,
tell me how to fix it. I want to improve. And if you just wanna tell me you
read it, and have no particular advice, that’s fine too. I’m glad to
read any review.
-demonicnargles