Bad Habit

By YamiTsubasa

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto and company.


“NARUTO! DAMMIT, WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED YOU?-! MY WATERS’ JUST BROKE! THE BABY’S ON HIS WAY!” Kurenai shrieked hysterically to her husband, causing the twenty-two year old blonde to freeze in his tracks while cooking dinner in the kitchen. Uh-oh. Did his beloved, pregnant red-eyed brunette just yell at him that she is going to give birth, like, now?-!

Naruto was lucky to find himself a very capable wife who was a genjutsu user and a great kisser at the age of merely twenty. Well, maybe she’s a little too loud and boisterous at times, but most of the time she’s a really adorable, lovable woman who will make guys swoon.

At this moment of urgency, Naruto didn’t register the words that Kurenai had shouted until she flung the (heavy) object that was nearest to her (mainly the chair) against the wall and the chair fell apart, tumbling to the ground with a loud crash and what was left were wood splinters laying in utter shambles.

The blonde husband’s sky blue orbs widened in realization before he tossed the cooking utensils aside absently and rushed to his wife’s side, muttering gentle and soothing words of comfort. “Hush, hush, babe. I will get you to the hospital in no time.”

“YEAH YOU BETTER; OR I WILL GET YOU INTO HELL IN NO TIME!” was the genjutsu mistress’s reply.

It was almost a day after Kurenai had given birth to a gorgeous boy before Naruto could go into her room to visit her and have a peek at his newborn child.

“She’s perfectly okay, and so is the baby. However, we may charge you with a higher rate of hospital fees for your wife’s incessant yelling which had caused the bursting of eardrums of several of our medic members,” was the doctor’s solemn response when Naruto had inquired of his spouse’s condition after the doctor had emerged from the operation room. (“Wow, is that even possible?” Naruto asked. He had no idea of his wife’s unique ability.)

Of course, with that serious and grim look on his face, people may have thought that something had happened to Kurenai (TOUCH WOOD!). However, any damages to the nurses due to Kurenai’s deafening, piercing shrieks are none of Naruto’s business. He was more concerned of his darling’s well being.

Peering through the gap between the door and the wall, Naruto strained his neck to find his darling and their baby. There, laying tiredly and drained on the bed was his beloved and beside her was their baby. Their baby inherited Naruto’s bright sunshine hair and Kurenai’s red eyes; his tiny smile that nearly melted Naruto’s heart on the spot.

“OH MY GOD! HE GOT IT FROM YOU!” Kurenai all but hollered at the poor blue-eyed jounin.

“What? What it?” Naruto asked, confused.

“Your bad habit! Look! Look at what our little angel’s doing!” Kurenai indicated to their baby and sure, there was, the infant had stuck his miniature index finger up his nostril.

“What! I DO NOT dig my nose, for your information, thank you very much,” Naruto snorted, crossing his arms. Abruptly, the formerly closed door swung open when eleven individuals fell through it. Obviously, they had eavesdropped upon the couple but one had lost balance in their awkward positions and they stumbled through the door.

The eleven people consisting of Sakura, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, Kiba, Hinata, Shino, Lee, Neji and TenTen stood up almost immediately after their clumsy, un-ninja-like fall before Sakura decided to speak up. “Congratulations, Naruto.”

“Pfft. Didn’t know you dig your nose, dobe,” Sasuke added.

“Yeah! And here I am, thinking that you are at least a clean person and all…” Ino said, shaking her head in a resigned manner.

“Yeah…” Chouji agreed with the blond girl while munching on his chips, spittle and crumbs spraying from his mouth while he spoke.

“I thought you were not such a person,” the bug-lover said quietly while staring into the innocent Naruto’s eyes intently.

“I-” Naruto tried to defend himself desperately, turning to his wife for support but Kurenai merely shrugged, her eyes holding a playful twinkle in them.

“Ha! Now I know your true colors, Naruto,” Kiba said, crushing Naruto’s heart like an insignificant ant. Had his friends thought so badly of him before?

“A-ah… N-Naruto sure has his r-reasons…” Hinata stuttered, although over the years her stammering reduced, but when facing her previous crush she still couldn’t speak properly even when she had been betrothed to Aburame Shino just a few months ago.

“How troublesome…” was Shikamaru’s response. TenTen, however, merely blushed while Neji and Lee remained silent for the first time in the heated argument.

Silence passed before Neji said smugly, “Well, I guess Naruto must have found at least one way to relieve his stress sometimes…”

Naruto’s cerulean eyes lit up with hope.

“… With the wrong approach,” the Hyuuga continued, smirking.

Naruto now looked so horrified, like he had just watched an extremely scary movie. His defenses were going to crumble soon…

“I DON’T DIG MY NOSE!”

“Well, opposing so violently means you are guilty, Naruto. Your eyes are telling me that you’re lying,” Neji answered, activating his unique bloodline.

It was a surprise that Lee had been so quiet for so long… It must have been his first time and everybody even started to suspect that Lee isn’t his or her friend.

Face downcast, his hair that had grown over the years covered Lee’s eyes, shielding them and finally, he lifted up his head gradually and everyone present in the room stared at him in shock.

“…”

“Lee?” TenTen asked, concerned.

“…”

“What’s wrong, Lee?” Kiba smacked Lee on his back but Lee caught it deftly. Everybody gasped.

“I… So… NARUTO-KUN! I DIDN’T KNOW YOU DO SUCH A THING! I KNEW IT FROM THE BEGINNING THAT YOU ARE A MANLY PERSON AND DOING SUCH THINGS JUST MAKE YOU SEEM SO… MANLY-ER! YOSH! SHOW EVERYONE THE YOUTHFUL FLAMES OF BEING A MAN! ISN’T IT JUST GREAT THAT YOUR SON ALSO INHERITED YOUR BAD HABIT TOO! LIKE FATHER LIKE SON, ISN’T IT? COME ON…” Apparently, Lee stopped shouting into everybody’s ears when Kiba knocked him unconscious.

His last words before falling onto the ground were, “Dig your wonderful nose in the most manly way possible… Show them what you’ve got…”

Naruto nearly exploded when he shrieked, “I DON’T HAVE SUCH A BAD HABIT!” Kurenai and Neji merely smirked.

And Lee had woken up in his dream plane of many Naruto clones picking their noses in a very fascinating way, capturing Lee’s attention in their every move…


Sorry, I’ve exceeded the word limit of a thousand word for a 1000 word drabble… Oh well, sorry, antiassassinguy. Hope all of you enjoy this, anyway. Feedbacks and constructive criticism welcomed. This is plain stupid though; I really suck at humor stories… I’ve done my best, sorry!