Title: Amicitia
Author: Kenhime
Genre: Angst, Drama, and Action
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Who gets to be with
whom? Well, that power is in Kishimoto's hands. The song "Grey
Matter" by Finch doesn't belong to me either.
Warning: This is strong NaruSakuSasu friendship, and
includes profanity and violence.
Author's Note: An apology for the month-long delay
(this was my beta's fault ;). Do any of you play in the FFXI realm? If you do,
you would know what my beta's been up to. This is the start of the development
section. This means that for the next couple of chapters, you'll be seeing lots
of flashbacks. From here on out, it's going to definitely be Alternate
Storyline (though I was pleased the manga carried out my plot perfectly so
far, mwehehehe)…
Note to some readers: The Sadist, did you know how
much I hugged the computer screen when you said Hinata and Neji were foils to
the main characters? And Kepelus, what will I do without your reviews?
;) This chapter will serve you a fitting answer… By the way, yes, I did fix
that error. Thanks!
Thank you: To my wonderful betas SxStrngSamurai13 and
Fierysable! hugs And to my readers, gives them ALL a super hug you ALL make my
day with what you say. Thank you.
Readers, ask me all the questions you want because
it'll keep me on my toes when I write. And when you read it, you'll find that
the answers are there…
Okay, okay, fine! I'll give you a hint. Had Sasuke
really wanted to kill Naruto when he ambushed him? You'll find out in this
chapter.
Chapter Four – Commemini Development:
Cancer Memoriam
Naruto's breath hitched as the acrid liquid flooded
the insides of his mouth. He gingerly climbed out of the dent he had made in
the tree, coughing out the ruby drops that specked his orange jacket. He furiously
wiped away the river of crimson running from his cracked lips with the back of
his hand.
Bite the tongue
Like the belated thunder that followed the streaks of
lightning, the subsequent shot of pain in his broken ribs caused him to double
over. He did not have the strength to spit out a curse, let alone breathe. The
broken ribs jutted into his lungs, rendering it difficult to breathe and stay
conscious with the lack of oxygen. He had run headlong into the fight with a
huge disadvantage, especially after having lost chakra fighting Orochimaru's
cronies. The energy pool granted by the kyubi was hardly enough to power him
against the likes of his opponent.
He heard the slow footfalls of his rival and the
infuriating clicks of his tongue, which served to push Naruto's anger further,
even though he could not afford the luxury of being angry, given the situation
he was in. He In the dimness of his hazy vision, he could barely make out the
monstrously distorted face that was dyed in deep crimson of the level two curse
seal. Coils of foreboding, dark energy wrapped around Sasuke, whipping at
nearby trees with its sheer force until they splintered and snapped in half.
To live with what you've done.
Sasuke tilted his head to the side, an amused smile
twisting his lips as he watched Naruto struggle to stand.
"You never know when to give up, don't you?"
he asked, his mutilated and inhuman voice unnerving his old friend.
"Idiot," snarled Naruto as he shakily pushed
himself up, "Don't you remember I don't know how to?"
"Then you don't have to."
Naruto turned his head slowly at the three blades that
whooshed pass him, the wires attached to it looping around him and binding him
to the tree. The string tightened around him until it dug into his skin,
pricking enough blood to earn a muffled cry of pain. His furious, shocked gaze
locked with Sasuke's insidious eyes.
It's so good.
"Even if you won't give up, you'll die anyway. You're
so tired you can't even escape…you won't be able to escape from this." After
three quick seals, the flesh of Sasuke's right hand expanded as lightning
chakra was collected. The tainted violet energy cackled like the incessant
chirping of a thousand birds, familiar knells the blond ninja thought he would
never hear for himself.
Naruto's eyes expanded, his cerulean pupils shrinking
to dots.
"Sa—"
Sasuke plunged the Chidori into his stomach.
It's so good
The howl that followed was chiller than the October
night, pricking the hairs on Sasuke's neck as his hand pushed further through
Naruto's tattooed abdomen, and it soon pitched to a cacophonous screech that
was both inhuman and puerile. Without flinching or pulling out his hand, Sasuke
stared at the bleeding pale face, the dilated eyes that rolled over and hid its
pupils, and the gaping mouth that had let loose the terrible sound. It seemed
almost unfathomable that this boy was Naruto.
Lie to myself while I lie with myself.
The shrieking ended. He slowly withdrew his hand from
the boring hole he had created, the thick blood oozing down from between his
fingers. Staring at the death in his hands, he impassively wondered how far he
had gone into insanity. Was this how his brother killed his own best friend to
obtain greater power? He had killed the boy his brother had sought to capture,
the teammate who had saved Sakura and earned her grateful smile, and the rival
who had surpassed him. These augmenting emotions of jealousy and hatred had
drawn to a climax that then plummeted to an almost surreal conclusion of
nothing. Would he feel the same emptiness at his brother's death?
He sucked in his breath when a swift shot of pain
seared the backs of his eyes. As his eyelids became hot with chakra, he pressed
five fingers to his forehead, too preoccupied to see the sudden movement.
A bloodied hand seized his wrist.
It's Monday and it's raining.
His shocked reddened eyes slowly traveled to Naruto's
face, where the eyeballs in his sockets were still white. The moving hand
tightened its grip around Sasuke's wrist enough to cause a startled cry of pain
to escape his lips. If his head had not been aching under the Sharingan
transformation, he would have shaken his head vehemently in terrified
disbelief. He could have sworn it was an illusion—a genjutsu that had succeeded
in eluding his Sharingan.
Naruto's opened stomach glowed red with chakra as his
exposed organs slipped back into its place inside the trembling body, seared
tissue healing as quickly as it had been burnt by the lightning's heat. His
blood that had pooled his insides gurgled as the veins and thin connective
tissues reformed like the threads of life being re-sewn. The steam caused by
chakra healing hissed as it left the swiftly repairing skin in its wake, and
the disjointed black scrawls on his abdomen gradually molded together to make
the swirl tattoo again.
It's Sunday in the sun.
Once it had completely healed, his chest began to
heave in and out with circulation, his lungs hungry for air. Sasuke desperately
tugged to free his hand from Naruto's death grip as beads of cold sweat
trickled down his face and neck. There was something unworldly about Naruto's
regeneration, and a fear consumed the Uchiha that was more terrifying than when
he had fought Orochimaru those many months ago. Those once-dead eyes snapped
shut; when it opened again, the pupils had returned.
It's so good, but...
They were ablaze in bestial, dark red.
This time, it was Sasuke who screamed.
The stars whirled and twinkled mischievously in the black enigma that stretched
from the horizon and beyond, as the nightly breezes swept over the village,
tousling the wild blond locks of the star-watcher lying on the roof. With his
crisscrossed hands making for a pillow (though he knew his arms would be numb
by morning) and the cold tile roofs his bed (though it would do no wonders for
his back), he closed his eyes and sighed contently, willing his mind to lay
rest the burdens and concerns of the day. One night of repose was what he only
asked for; then he would begin again his tiresome journey.
But no one ever listened to what Uzumaki Naruto
wanted.
Would it be so bad
One lethargic eye opened, a side of his mouth curved
slightly down in a frown at the shadow that drew over him intrusively. For
someone who was shorter than even he, the ninja of the desert had quite an
intimidating umbrage.
"Gaara."
Even in the dark, the sand ninja's eyes still
glittered in lucid blue, a color so pure that it forced open the windows into
the minds of anyone who came across such a pair of enthralling orbs. It was
disconcerting at the very least.
"Instead of staring at me like that, why don't
you sit down and watch the stars?" Naruto suggested languidly in hopes of
avoiding the probing questions Gaara would most probably send his way.
The insomniac gave the suggestion a moment of grudging
consideration, as he did not like the insecurity and immobility sitting down
had, but he decided to entertain Naruto's request. Willing the sand to form a
comfortable cushion (eyeing the slight discomfort Naruto had lying on the hard
roofing), he took a seat and followed Naruto's gaze up at the skies. The stars,
he noted absently, were imperturbable to the chaos that ruled below…
"So what brings you here to watch them?" he
found himself asking quietly.
"Nothing really," was Naruto's offhanded
response. "Why are you here?"
"I can't sleep."
The understatement sent Naruto rolling with laughter. It
was not particularly funny, but with the tension mounting on his shoulders
every day, anything that had a miniscule of hilarity in it was something to be
laughed about.
If you were to pretend that you were so happy?
"Of course, of course…I forgot about that…"
he grinned. "Well, you've got a buddy tonight, then. I can't sleep
either."
"Hn."
"What? Am I that bad a companion?"
The sand ninja managed to still look pokerfaced. "I
worry for my sanity."
"That wasn't fun—you never had a sense of humor
before!"
"That is your undoing."
"True, everything is my undoing,
huh?" His careless grin was awfully ironic to Gaara.
Keep it to yourself,
"You're on the Road to Perdition and Everlasting
Self-Pity. Congratulations."
"Shut up," Naruto grumbled. "I've had
enough of that from Neji. And I don't need you—a foreigner—to tell me what to
do. You don't know everything that's going on."
"True," Gaara replied coolly. "But I
know you enough."
"What—"
"Uzumaki Naruto did not become the Sixth Hokage
to die, did he?" He continued to speak tonelessly. "He didn't make
sacrifices just to let it all go to waste, did he? If he did, then I am truly a
demon."
Naruto snorted. "You are."
"Then so are you," was the brisk reply.
"Does it matter to you?"
A corner of Gaara's mouth barely lifted in an
almost-smirk. "Does it matter that you need to die for your village?"
"Damn it! I—"
The sand jounin closed his eyes, feeling the breezes
sweep his face. The sand scattered a little until the tiny rocks moved back to
form his cushion again.
"You are the pillar of the Leaf, who'll die for
the safety of your village…" he said slowly. "But have you ever
thought of living for Konoha?"
"The Third and the Fourth died for the
village," the blond ninja answered quietly, "Why shouldn't I? I don't
have a choice."
"Why?" Gaara opened his eyes again.
Don't let the secret go.
"Because I just don't," Naruto said
exasperatedly. "Stop asking me questions. I'm sick and tired of
explaining."
Teal eyes faintly glinting, Gaara waited a beat before
saying nonchalantly, "Perhaps it has something to do with your seal
weakening."
"How the hell did you know!? Weren't you
wandering around the village for info?" The Hokage lifted his head to
glare at him.
"I have my sources."
Naruto noticed how red Gaara's left eye was, a good
indication that it had been out of its socket for some time and doing spying
activity. He dropped his head back, muttering.
"Damn you and damn your freaky sand eye."
"Thank you for your charitable blessing,"
Gaara responded dryly.
"If you want another blessing, I don't mind
clobbering you."
"One was enough." The sand ninja absently
rubbed his left cheek. "Judging from the way your mouth moved, you were
talking about saving the village by dying. Why is your seal weakening?"
What an easy question for Gaara to ask, and hard for
Naruto to answer.
If you were so willing.
Rather than to verbally explain, Naruto sat up
straight and lifted the hem of his shirt, revealing an obtrusive scar that
jagged the swirls of the fading seal on his muscled stomach, the jagged
brownish-red marks shaped like lightning bolts pointing to his belly-button. It
had long since healed, but the streak it left was horrendous. Upon close
inspection, Gaara recognized it as identical to the scar on his left shoulder.
"This is—"
"Know who did it?" asked Naruto as he
covered his abdomen again.
"That was fourteen years ago, when we were sent
to take him back…"
Naruto looked down, shaking his head slowly, before he
brought his bitter eyes to meet Gaara's questioning gaze.
"He wanted to kill me. Sad, huh?"
Gaara turned his head away, grunting. Naruto's mouth
curled as he said ruefully.
"But what's sadder…is that I almost killed
him."
The trees surrounding them disintegrated in the monstrous energy that was
generating off of Naruto. Sasuke tried to shield his sensitive eyes from the
long bangs that whipped at them as the winds grew stronger, air displaced by
the sudden appearance of unnatural heat. The tour de force of Naruto's chakra
easily surpassed his own curse seal.
But let's pray
for this suicide
The
Sharingan was not making the situation any easier. His vision had been divided
into shards of images, a red-tinted kaleidoscope that was characteristic of the
Mangekyou. It was difficult for his mind to process the light through his
hurting, hot eyes. The abnormal amount of chakra running through his brain made
his head feel light and constricting at once. The pain brought about by the
alteration should be temporary.
But as the
kaleidoscope of fiery eyes stared back at him, nothing mattered to Sasuke
anymore save for the one instinct that all earthly creatures naturally
possessed in their minds one way or the other…
He wanted
to live.
Instead of
repaying the raven-haired ninja the time he had given him to scream before
death, Naruto unfairly hacked off the end of Sasuke's terrified cry by seizing
his throat with a vein-bulging hand. The kyubi's incarnation swung his right
fist forward to catch the raven-haired ninja across the left cheek. The force
of the blow sent Sasuke flying into a tree…and into another tree behind it.
Blood sprayed from the Uchiha's lips.
A feral
grin molded Naruto's thick-whiskered face into something unimaginably inhuman,
sanguine skin folded and stretched around his flaring crimson eyes and
canine-baring mouth. His eyes widened lustily at the sight of the thick life
liquid running down the Uchiha's pallid face, watching it seductively roll down
in swift rivulets of red.
Blood. It
had been long since the demon has shed it. The stupid boy never killed anyone,
but who was to stop the kyubi now?
Stop it, you—you
damn fox!
The
demon-infused Naruto looked down in his abdomen, feeling the boy's soul
unsettle in the pit of the seal. Demons needed no voice to speak; their
communication laid in empathy.
Stupid
kid…his best friend tried to kill him and he still wanted to save the traitor?
I…Sasuke
would—he wouldn't…!
It was
because of the seal that Naruto was saved. It was because of the kyubi's power
that he still existed. Naruto had no right to make the decisions in these
circumstances. Let the demon fox devour the evil boy.
The voice
was weaker now. Don't…don't you dare….
The
demon-controlling body crouched low in a ready stance.
Dared to
stop the strongest demon in the universe?
The
soul-tingling coming from his stomach ceased.
He lunged
forward.
Sasuke's
incredulous eyes squinted, unable to comprehend the situation, the turning of
tables. He lifted his quivering hand to touch the warm fluid flowing down and
over his forehead, but when he caught the flicker of movement with his
Sharingan, he tried instead to push himself up and away. However, he was not
fast enough to dodge Naruto's savage grip again. He was pinned to the tree,
struggling to get free while more blood gurgled up from his throat and out his
mouth. Naruto looked almost amused.
Sasuke
stared at Naruto's free hand, pulled back and fingers tensely bent in a
gripping pose. The ruby energy that had wrapped around his thickened fingers
gathered at the center of his palm, circling faster and faster as more energy
was amassed for the jutsu Naruto was about to do. Sasuke had only seen it once,
and once was enough for him to recognize what damage it could do once Naruto
would smash it through his skull.
"Try
escaping from this," Naruto snarled with a deep voice that was
gruesomely jarring and beastly.
It was at
this untimely moment for Sasuke to chuckle, but the irony was just too much.
The play was being repeated once again, except now the roles have been
switched. Except…he would really die. He had nothing that would heal him like
Naruto did.
Unfortunate
how Naruto actually lived the Chidori. Unfortunate how he was unable to kill
his brother. It was all misfortune how everything came about, anyway…
And all
these pictures falling down around me
Howling,
Naruto drove the Rasengan down. The blood splattered and the wood splintered
from the impact. As the energy dissipated and the whistling of circling chakra
faded away, the forest grew silent again.
And yet, as
he continued to stare into a pair of bloody brown eyes, Sasuke still heard
himself breathe.
The wind
spiral had drilled a wide hole into the tree beside Sasuke's raven head, and
the close proximity of the wind energy had disturbed the river of blood coming
down his temple. The hold on his neck gradually loosened. Stands of his slick
dark bangs struck his ashen cheeks with Naruto's each breath. A tortured sigh
escaped from the blond as he bent his head tiredly over Sasuke's shoulder. His
voice was strangled and hoarse, but it had returned to its boyish tenor.
"I…I
made a promise, Sasuke…a lifetime promise to her. Did you know…?"
I've
surrounded myself with all I have inside.
Blinking
away the memories that had invaded his vision, Naruto looked to Gaara and was
answered with silence. The Hokage flopped down on the tiles and cradled his head
in his arms again.
"I've
almost died twice and because of the kyubi, I've survived twice. But the
near-death experiences have weakened me enough to widen the leak on the seal.
For the past fourteen years, the crack's been growing and it won't be long until
it breaks."
Gaara scoffed.
"Not enough willpower to hold it in, have you?"
"Stupid,"
Naruto shot back, "how could I have not enough!? I've slowed down the
process, but I can't avoid it any longer. No matter how determined I am to
retain the kyubi, the truth is my strength is getting sucked up by it. The more
I fight, the more I realize how much I'm depending on the stupid fox. I've
gotta stop it."
"So you
leave your jurisdiction to travel up north to secluded Lightning
Country…?"
"Kakashi's
temporarily in control until Konohamaru takes succession," the Hokage
explained slowly. "And I'm in search of someone in Lightning, who might
have an inkling of how to seal it back..."
"In
exchange for your life, isn't it?" Limpid teal eyes glanced beside at
Naruto, whose face was hardly visible in the dark. But the highly-perceptive
gaze could see the gloom that had dampened the blond's usually jocose
countenance.
Naruto never
replied, but his aberrant silence was more than enough of an answer.
Neji strode through the halls of the Department of Defense, his steady
footfalls as quiet as the leaves that hit the ground in soft pats. Although
back in the safe administration buildings of Konoha, he walked noiselessly.
Perhaps it was because he did not want anyone to be aware of his presence or
know he had a new assignment. Perhaps it was a natural inclination of his to
walk in such a way. Would he care to know?
Behind his
expressionless façade lurked the troubling feeling of apprehension that
centered on his former anbu captain of the hunter-nin division. His anbu leader
had been recently promoted to Commander of Military Defense, in which
consequently released Neji from subordinate duty and allowed him to perform
missions independently. However, as second only to the Sixth Hokage and Elder
Council, the Commander had the authority to call upon any ninja for missions
directly related to the village's security. In any case, what the hunter-nin on
solo duty had anything to do with the defense forces puzzled him.
Almost.
He suspected
Nara Shikamaru had ulterior motives, and he suspected that he himself knew
exactly what they were. And yet, somehow, Neji had no scruples about it.
Would I bite
my tongue?
His eyes
momentarily caught the name plaque beside the door as he placed his hand on the
cool metal knob and twisted it to open the door. When he stepped inside and
closed the door behind him, he made a straight military stance, waiting for his
new task from the Commander, who stood gazing out the window.
Shikamaru
turned away from the small back window to face his old teammate with something
much less than enthusiasm (that was to be expected) or even indolence (which
was perturbing). For once, the sleep-loving, lazy man showed symptoms of
insomnia and anxiety, his worn eyes drawing dark circles around them and his
face unshaved. He gestured to Neji to take a seat and was politely declined,
although he had known already that the taciturn ninja never sat down in
briefings. Slumping down his chair, Shikamaru dropped his head on the cluttered
oak desk and moaned.
And live with
what you've done?
"You
look like…" As he took off his mask, Neji searched for a word.
"Hell."
"Gee,
thanks," Shikamaru mumbled, voice muffled by stacks of paper. "I've never
been so overworked in my life. I was supposed to retire by now, but the idiot
just had
to give me a promotion. What did I do to deserve this??"
The Hyuga
did not bother to reply. "Where is my mission?"
His face
still buried in paper, the pineapple-headed Commander felt around for the black
envelope. "Ah, found it." He tossed it to the hunter-nin, who took it
and opened it. Shikamaru listened for any reaction as Neji unfolded the paper
and read.
"……"
Just continue
sleeping?
The silence
prodded Shikamaru to lift his head and ask, "Well?"
"You
are in charge of the defense forces, yet you give me an assassination
assignment," Neji narrowed his silvery eyes. "Are you aware that you
might get court-martialed for abusing your authority?"
"Tch,
court-martialed? This order came straight from the Elder Council," drawled
Shikamaru. "The geezers were scared out of their wits when they got a
telegram from Naruto saying that they were ambushed and needed a medic. So
they're gonna send you to act as a guard accompanying Shizune there. But you
needa finish your real objective before you return."
"Does
Kakashi know about this?"
"Nope;
won't find out until another two days. The old folks don't want him knowing
that they're plannin' to kill his student. Naruto doesn't know either."
Shikamaru pushed himself off the desktop and stared at him hard. "Do you
think you can do it?"
"Do
not doubt me."
He sighed.
"I'm not. Just askin', that's all." As he absently massaged his neck,
eyes looking blankly down, he added offhandedly, "'Cause I don't know what
to think."
"Was
it not what you wanted?" Neji dropped the letter back on the desk.
Selfishly
consumed with everything you've wrought.
"Yes…and
no. I don't know," Shikamaru admitted as he grabbed the letter, gazing at
the one name written for death.
"I
mean," he continued, "I've went this far, waitin' for this day to
come. But when it comes down to it, with all the stress, all the troubles,
there's no point. This has been troublesome from the beginning."
What an
understatement, Neji thought. Snorting derisively, the hunter-nin replaced his
mask.
"Is
there anything else I need to know?"
"Yeah…"
The Commander said slowly, crossing his arms. "Sakura was with Naruto when
they were ambushed. She's in coma right now, but she's the only one of Naruto's
bodyguards who survived. Naruto never mentioned it, but it's not that hard to
figure out what had happened. Just keep that in mind. She was our teammate,
after all."
There was a
pause of consideration before, "Understood."
There's nothing I can do.
Time
had marked the birth of the new moon. In these darkest hours, the forest held
an ethereal tranquility that belied the turmoil surrounding the human dwellers
that night.
Neji absently
fingered his katana that rested on his shoulder as he leaned back on the tree.
Across from him, Shizune huddled in her blanket as she gazed at her guard,
watching his features grow more livid and scarier until it could have looked
like he could skewer an innocent rabbit with just his face.
No…make that a
bear.
Her eyebrow
twitched as she tried hard to stifle her laugh at the image. Nevertheless, the
hunter-nin noticed and shot a wary glance at her.
"What?"
Shizune
managed to school her expression into that of nonchalance.
"Nothing."
"I will
have you know that we will be moving again in the next hour," he said
severely. "I suggest you sleep for the time being."
"When an
anbu's glaring kunais at me like that? I hardly can," she muttered. It
made no sense to her. She was the senior of the two, the medical director of
Konoha and his doctor for goodness's sake. And he suggestedthat she
shouldsleep? It took much effort to keep herself from scoffing. Kids, these
days! They had no respect for the older, more experienced ninjas.
"Something's
bothering you. You've been more unbearable since we've left the hospital,"
she commented lightly instead.
"Brilliant
observation," Neji replied flatly. "But I bear much more than you
think."
"Everyone
has their own burdens to bear, not only you." She laid her head back on
the tree trunk, smiling softly. "Really, if things could've been
easy..."
Neji was about
to reply when a warning flare of chakra took over his senses, a vile, tainted
energy that he recognized immediately. His brows furrowed as energy began to
fluctuate and weaken. Shizune stiffened at the chilly sensation of the
intruding energy, for there was something uncannily familiar about it,
something that reminded her quite immediately of a certain serpentine sage… But
it was beginning to taper off. She shot a glance of askance at her guard, but
Neji had already gone to track the intruder. Frowning, she began to maneuver
quickly to catch up to him.
"I…I
made a promise, Sasuke…a lifetime promise to her. Did you know…?"
Sasuke
blinked. "No."
Without
breaking his fatigued gaze on his rival, the blond ninja quietly pulled his
fist out of the puncture he had made and drew back. He then raised his head to
the orange skies that were framed by the tall pines, watching—feeling—for a
moment the cooling breeze of the afternoon. Cerulean seeped into the irises of
his eyes until finally the color was completely back to its bluish state.
Sasuke
watched his old friend stand still in the ring of sunset light, curiously fascinated
by how the sun seemed to strike his blond hair in such a way that it turned
into a golden halo. He glanced down with his brows furrowed and lips curled up
in disgust with himself. How pathetic it was for the Uchiha to notice inane
things like that. It was then that he saw his own hand, which rested near his
side. Pale, cracked and bleeding…but all pale nonetheless. He finally touched
his white, unmarked cheek.
But let's pray
for this suicide.
A chuckle drifted to his ears and he looked in Naruto's direction. The idiot
was shaking his head to himself, smiling wryly.
"Of
course you wouldn't have known…"
"…Naruto?"
"Because
you weren't there. You were never there, Sasuke. Only I was…except she never
chose me. But you know, I didn't come back for you just because of her. I came
back to settle what we never finished, or at least continue what we shared. I
didn't want it to end like this."
Naruto's
hands trembled at his sides…
"After
all we've been through, you're just gonna throw it all away? So—so you could
become a monster?" He gestured at his seal, his whiskered cheeks, his
eyes, and his fist. "You want this?! You saw what I could've done to you.
I could've killed you. This isn't power, Sasuke; it's hell.
And all these
pictures falling down.
"You've always been the prodigy, the one everyone liked, the top of his
class, the one the boys respected, the girls liked. For all you cared, you
could've pissed on everybody and still be admired. Well guess what? You can't
do that to me because I hate your stinking ass!" he spat out furiously.
"Everyone despised me for the demon I held. They all thought I was stupid,
that I didn't give a damn and that I was a good-for-nothing. For all they
cared, I could've saved the Hokage and still be hated! But you know what sucks
the most?"
"Do
you know what sucks the most?" he shouted.
Hearing no
reply, he pivoted away from Sasuke, wrenching his blonde hair and feeling the
urge to scream. But he inhaled and exhaled deeply to ease his frustration until
finally, he dropped his hands to his sides to carry on with his tortured
tirade.
His voice
was soft, almost choking. "That you saved me; that you called me your
teammate. That you thought I was strong. And…And that's all that mattered.
Because as much as I hated you, I wanted to be like you. That I could be
acknowledged by you. There could this minute possibility that you'd be my
closest and most hated friend. Does it make any difference that I'm a monster
or you're the last of your clan? Should this stop us from reaching the top
together? Because I know how it feels like to have this power. It leaves you
isolated, hated, angry…insane. Tell me, Sasuke, if this is what you want. And
I'll tell you, no matter the answer, that I will bring you back, no matter how
long it takes. Because it's a lifetime promise…and I never go back on my
word."
One wish full,
step to the side.
His chest
rose up and down as he recovered his breath from the long tirade. The tingling
red chakra had yet to recede from his body, and its therapeutic warmth soothed
the riled up feelings within him until he was calm again.
Sasuke's shoulders shook with faint laughter. A genuine, raw laugh, far from
Orochimaru's malicious cackles.
"What?"
Naruto asked, annoyed.
"I
almost kill you," Sasuke answered between chuckles, "and you can
still babble on and on like an idiot. You'll never change."
The blond
frowned and with a humph, looked away.
The Uchiha
picked himself up from the floor, feeling incredibly weary and barren inside.
He did not like this cold fatigue, stripped of the surging hot power that ran
in his veins when he used his curse seal. It was just like their rivalry:
intense to the point that it wore the both of them out. He was tired of it.
"…So
what now?" asked the blond, hesitant yet hopeful.
And please just
let me know...
"Nothing.
There was never a 'now' for me, Naruto," Sasuke wiped the blood from his
lips. "I can't go back because this was what I've always wanted. Because I
chose to
do this."
"So we mean nothing to
you?"
Are you happy?
Naruto was expressionless, but the hurt was evident in the question.
"You
are something," the raven-haired ninja responded truthfully. "You
made me believe that for just one year— one moment—in my life, everything was
all right. In those days, with you and Sakura, I saw my future and enjoyed the
present. But nothing will be right until I reclaim my past."
Never had
Naruto heard something so honest come out of his usually enigmatic teammate.
The fight and their near-deaths had made them oddly candid in their words, a
sincerity that was sorely needed after their heated emotions burnt out.
"And
if you do? Will you come back?" Naruto asked finally, after a long moment.
Sasuke
snorted faintly. "By that time, the curse seal has taken full control of
me. It's bound to kill me someday. The only way you can bring me back is if you
kill me and take my corpse back home to be buried with the rest of the
clan."
I'll decide.
The reality of Sasuke's decision finally sank in for Naruto.
Uchiha
Sasuke…dying? The infallible Uchiha prodigy. The irritating, arrogant, callous
bastard. The constant, admittedly-always-there-to-save-Naruto's-butt teammate
was going to die sooner or later?
There had
got to be another way to bring him back.
But until
then… Naruto understood, to a point, that his teammate had a goal to fulfill.
Sasuke knew
what he was doing, and he knew of the consequences. Even when Naruto knew
his friend would fall into the darkness, his mind twisted by the Orochimaru's
malevolence, suffering through the madness of his solitude, and screaming for a
salvation that would not appear…
These stories
are so old,
"I'll
still take you back after," Naruto raised a determined fist, defiant of
Sasuke's foreboding future. "Because no matter where we go, we're still
who we are. And a promise is a promise."
The fiery
conviction of the village's number one loudest ninja returned to those cerulean
eyes. It was a foolish confidence, and Sasuke had always scoffed at it before.
But oddly, a rare smile slowly graced the Uchiha's lips as he looked at his
best friend with charcoal eyes. A small contrite smile.
"You
total moron…"
How they match
your eyes.
Sasuke trudged onward, one stumbling step after another. His vision swirled and
blurred, eyes ceaselessly closing and opening, turning red and then black…red,
black, red…black. Things he saw that felt tangible in one moment were
transparent in the next, and feelings he felt seemed to discolor his
surroundings in hues of blue, pink, and orange. Everything was blue, pink, and
orange now.
Are you
happy?
The
searing pain of the curse seal shook him with a jolt and he leaned a hand
against to tree to steady himself. Gasping and trembling, he attempted to push
the curse seal back into the original seal Kakashi gave him, but it seemed as
if he had already used up all of his willpower in his last fight. He let the
curse seal unravel and scrawl across the surface of his skin, smoldering and
consuming him with its empty power. He would have welcomed it before, when his
stamina was still left intact and he was still a—
When you
were dead.
Alive. He shut
his eyes as if it would expel the unrelenting voices. He gritted his teeth. No,
when he was truly alive.
I'll
decide.
His usually
indomitable expression now contorting under the agony, he slammed himself fully
against the tree and slid down to the floor. Why was the curse seal hurting so
much? His chakra pool should have been replenished; he had rested and taken the
medicine earlier that day. He sunk his teeth into his cracked lower lip to keep
himself from crying out. This pervading pain was nothing like before…no;
perhaps it was reminiscent of the time when he first received the seal.
When you
first died.
These
stories are so old,
He
bent over and then abruptly twisted to the side, his throbbing head hitting the
floor. He writhed to keep himself from thrashing about and worsening the
excruciating feeling. The pain built up to the point that his senses were numb;
then the body began to systematically shut down. The heart that was beating
erratically before had now slowed considerably down to exhausted, small thumps.
His unsettling, constantly changing eyes glazed over…
How they
match your eyes.
Was this how
death felt like? So peaceful…just like that time when he almost died saving
Naruto, when he still had his dreams with him, his friends with him, his life
with him. There were no voices, no more pain, and no more emptiness.
Death…felt
nice.
Even though
that total moron failed to bring him home…
"……Uchiha
Sasuke…?!"
But let's
pray for this suicide
And he
imagined himself tipping, arms spread out in welcome, over the brink of
consciousness.
"Stop
it, Neji! I need to save him, let me go!"
As he fell
through the abyss, the greeting white light flashed into his eyes.
"I
have been ordered to kill him. It is better he dies this way!"
And all
these pictures falling down
He saw the
images of his family.
"We
can't let him die! I can't! Damn it, let go of me!"
Of his mother,
smiling at him beautifully as she once had.
"He is
a threat to the safety of Konoha, and tried to kill the Hokage. His death is
well deserved, Shizune-san."
Of his father,
his gruff face showing pride as he had once imagined.
"Why
did Haruno-san live then? Why was she the only one of the decoys to survive?
Why was he mumbling Naruto's name to himself? He doesn't deserve this, Neji—he
has to live!"
Of his
brother, his eyes ever so worn and kind as they once were.
"Don't
do this, Neji. Please, let me go!"
One wish
full, step to the side
Of his
teacher, his one heavy-lidded eye constantly watchful as it once was.
"I
can't feel his pulse. Don't just stand there, you dolt! Go get some water! I
swear, useless hunter-nins…"
Of his
teammate, her expression pleading and hopeful like it used to be.
"One…two…three!
Come on, you can do it! One…two…"
Of his best
friend, grinning idiotically like he always did.
And pick
these pictures from the ground that surround me
"Three!
Breathe, will you!? Come on, breathe! One…two…"
Of himself,
smirking confidently as he…
"Live!
Just live! Live for goodness's sake! Please! One…two…two and a half…"
As he…
"Three!
Breathing…he's breathing!"
Always would.
To be continued...